Year of the Pitcher?

Many across the media are referring to 2010 as the Year of the Pitcher, but is there enough evidence to support this overly optimistic view on the 2010 pitching season?

Consider the facts:

• 2 perfect games
• 1 "should've been" perfect game
• 2 no-hitters
• 21 starters with ERA under 3.00
• 9 starters with ERA under 2.50
• 6 starters with winning % over .800

It certainly would appear that starters are having a pretty good year so far.  However, is it enough to qualify 2010 as the Year of the Pitcher?  I would submit "No," as my answer.

Consider this:

Josh Hamilton, OF for the Texas Rangers, is currently hitting .470 for the month of June.  He is in the midst of a 21-game hitting streak.  During which he has 41 hits, 9 HR, 28 RBI, 20 R.  His batting average has gone up 55 points, and he has a .495 on-base percentage and .850 slugging percentage for the month.

BOOM!  My one, small-sample-size example just blew you out of the water, mainstream media!  I just sunk your Battleship!!!

Longoria, Upton Argue, Make-up/out

After the top of the 5th inning in Sunday's 2-1 loss to the Diamondbacks, Rays 3B Evan Longoria and OF B.J. Upton got into an argument over Upton's lack of hustle on a ball in the gap.  When asked about it after the game, both players blew it off as something that happens in the heat of competition.

As you can see from the picture below, the incident wasn't really that big of a deal.  The two kissed and made up, and then went on to compliment each other on their physical conditioning.

Tigers Girl-fight Their Way to Rout of Braves

On Sunday, the Tigers and Braves met in Atlanta and the Tigers proceeded to girl-fight their way to a 10-4 victory.  The Tigers scratched out (get it?) 16 singles as a part of their 17-hit barrage against starter Tommy Hanson and 3 relievers.  The one blight on the Tigers quest for singles perfection was a home run.  Manager Jim Leyland was ejected for the game for running out on the field after RF Brennan Boesch screwed up the whole thing by hitting a 2 run HR in the 5th inning.

Leyland on the incident: "I was pissed.  We just scored five runs the previous inning by hitting singles, and this jerk has to show up his entire team by putting one in the seats?  We could've had a perfect game!"

Upton Brothers Reunite in Arizona

It's been a long time coming, but the Upton brothers (B.J. and Justin) were able to reunite in a moving moment in Tampa Bay.  The brothers, who have never played a competitive game against one another, reportedly held each other for 45 minutes, crying like babies.  There wasn't a dry eye in the stadium.  The start of the game was delayed 20 minutes as umpires tried to separate the brothers before the first pitch.

Halladay Returns to Toronto... Sorta

For the first time since being traded to the Philadelphia Phillies in the offseason, Roy Halladay took the mound against his former team, the Toronto Blue Jays.  It was Halladay's first appearance in Toronto as a member of the opposing team.  To mark the occasion, the Blue Jays decided to make it easier for Halladay by playing the home game in Philadelphia, allegedly because of the G20 Summit (yeah, like that's a real thing!)

The Blue Jays also made it easier on Halladay by barely swinging the bat, getting only 6 base hits in Halladay's 7 innings.  Jays CF Vernon Wells: "We really wanted to do all we could to make this a pleasant experience for Doc.  He's just been such an important part of this organization for so long."

Yogi Monday!

We all get a case of the Mondays from time to time.  There's no better way to get through a Monday than with a classic quote from one of baseball's greatest quote machines - Yogi Berra.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Linktastic Saturday!

Once again, here are some of the other baseball humor things going on in the interwebs:

The Onion
Manny's incredible journey
The Unwritten Rules
Joe Mauer - Strongside/Weakside
Expanding Replay?

SportsPickle
Astros Plan to Retire Wandy's ERA!
Joba Rules Renewed
Lady Gaga at a Mets Game
Strasburg's New Name

As always, if you come across some things to link, let me know!

Jays Fans Surprised by Games

The Toronto Blue Jays avoided a sweep at the hands of the St. Louis Cardinals on Thursday night, but the big news coming out of the series was not that Albert Pujols, Matt Holliday and 3 of the Cardinals top pitchers played.  The big news was that reportedly just over 43,000 people attended the games.  Not each game... all the games.  For a three game series against the Cardinals, the Blue Jays drew in less than 15,000/game.

When asked about the reasons for the poor attendance, Fred Madeupguy said, "It's really not surprising.  We have tried to model our organization after the Montreal Expos - the only other successful Canadian baseball team.  As you can see, as far as our attendance goes, we are tracking right where we should be.  We have no doubt that by 2020, we'll be the first professional team from the big four sports to be playing our home games in Las Vegas.  I know it sounds like a gamble, but we figure it worked for the Expos.  A definite plus to this long-term plan is the fact that we will no longer have to play the Yankees, Red Sox and Rays.  Give us a break.  We're having a great year, and we're still in 4th place."

In related news, the Jays are looking for a boost in home attendance numbers as they host the Phillies in Philadelphia because of the G20 Summit in Toronto.

Downward Spiral Continues

The Chicago Cubs continued their quest to ensure Lou Piniella doesn't return for another season in Wrigleyville.  Carlos Zambrano, having already set the record for the most expensive non-closer in bullpen history, decided to take it another step today... by yelling and almost getting into a fight with 1B Derek Lee in the dugout... in the 1st inning.

In the second round match-up of underachieving teams, Big Z allowed 4 runs in the first inning to the White Sox.  Zambrano is known to be a bit of a hot-head and for some reason felt like it was his responsibility to remind everyone of that particular character trait.

Inside sources say the conversation went like this:

Lee: Hey, Carlos! Tough first inning, but don't worry, we'll get them back.

Big Z: What was that, man?

Lee: I said don't worry.  We've got your back, Z.  We're just glad you're starting again.

Big Z: Oh so you think I suck, momma's boy?

Lee: Wait, what?

Big Z: You heard me.  You and your sissy little first base.  I will drill you in the head next time we face if you keep disrespecting me.

Lee: Are you nuts?

Big Z: Oh, so now I'm crazy?

Piniella: Holy crap, boys!  What the heck is going on here?

Big Z: Pretty boy here was talking smack to me, and I'm gonna punch him in the face!

Lee: Whoa, wait a minute!  I was trying to encourage you.

Big Z: Why don't you shut up and start hitting those 6-run dingers again, fool!  Or did you forget that I'm the only one that can go yard on this team.

Piniella: All right that's enough! Carlos, hit the showers!

Big Z: What?!? You want to see me in the shower?  You sick, freak!

Piniella (on phone to bullpen): Get somebody warming up, Z's lost it again.

Bullpen phone: He was due.

Piniella: I can't wait until they fire me.  First Milton, now this.  I'm getting too old for this...

Pirates Considering Spring Training Move

The Pittsburgh Pirates are considering moving their spring training for next year to the African country of Somalia, and will be exploring starting it's own professional baseball league in the country.  In a statement released to BasesLoadedBalk, the front office claims that the move is based on several solid reasons.

1. McKechnie Park is old.  We have been playing in that facility for 38 years, and it hasn't been renovated since 1993.
2. Nobody even knows where Bradenton is.  Seriously, can you tell me how to get to Bradenton without looking it up on your GPS? 
3.  The country of Somalia is known for its great respect for pirates.  We want to play in a place where we will be respected for once.  Have you ever seen any pirates in Pittsburgh?  Didn't think so.
4. Finally, we think we have a legitimate chance to contend in a sub-Saharan African professional baseball league. 

Pittsburgh management is also considering extending invitations to the Cubs, Royals, Mariners, Orioles, and Nationals to join their African baseball league.

Dodgers Find a Cool New Way to Lose

The Los Angeles Dodgers managed to lose a game literally seconds before the tying run scored.  In the 9th inning of a 2-1 game against the most ridiculously named team, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Matt Kemp managed to get picked off of second by Brian Fuentes for the second out of the inning, but that is not where the fun starts.

Pinch hitter Jamey Carroll, already tagged with two girl names at his birth, was given another unfortunate life-strike.  He managed to bloop a single into left field right in front of Juan Rivera, which would have brought the tying run in, but Dodgers catcher Russell Martin overran second base and was thrown out by Rivera before the run could score.

When asked about the close of the game, Russell Martin squarely put the blame on Reed Johnson.  "He's always talking about how he's the fastest guy on the team, and how he once beat a giraffe in a foot race, and how he makes Juan Pierre look like a slug.  Then he pulls this stuff?  What a jerk!"

Johnson very quickly put the focus back where it should be - Martin's idiotic running.  "I did beat a giraffe in a foot race!  I can't believe nobody ever believes me when I tell them that!  And Russell?  I'm not surprised he overran second.  Are you kidding me?  Have you seen this guy try to throw out somebody trying to steal second?  I'm surprised he knows where the base is in the first place!"

He Just Said What Everyone Else Was Thinking

In the midst of what will be their 18th losing season in a row - that's right, there are high school graduates in Pittsburgh who have no idea what an 82 win season looks like - the Pittsburgh Pirates extended the contracts of their GM Neal Huntington and President Frank Coonelly.  Now, I'm all in favor of giving people chances to better the team, and I realize that 18 years of losing doesn't change over night; however, that's not where we are going with this right now.

After extending Huntington and Coonelly, the Pirates fired 24-year old Andrew Kurtz for criticizing the extensions.  Who is Andrew Kurtz, you may ask?  Assistant to the GM?  No.  Errand-boy for the President?  Not a chance.  Bat boy?  Nope.  Kurtz was JALAPEÑO HANNA THE RACING PIEROGI!!!!

The other pierogi's - Chester Cheese, Sauerkraut Sal and Oliver Onion - declined comment on the matter for fear that Randall Simon will be brought back by management to take control of the situation.  And by "take control of the situation," they could be referring to his unfortunate assault on the Brewers racer, or the fact that he just might eat them... all.... in one sitting....

Yogi Monday!

We all get a case of the Mondays from time to time.  There's no better way to get through a Monday than with a classic quote from one of baseball's greatest quote machines - Yogi Berra.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

Angels Compare Two Oldest Parks

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim made their first trip to Wrigley Field this weekend.  In an article on MLB.com, Angel players reportedly compared the Friendly Confines to another stadium that is really, really old - Fenway Park.

Angels pitcher Jered Weaver said that the fans are "a little more aggressive at Fenway than here" and continued to call out the city of Chicago as a bunch of sissies.  "I mean, what has happened in Chicago?  The Untouchables?  C'mon, really?  How about a real mob, like the Godfather... in a real city, like New York?  Ever seen The Departed?  Boston.  Whatever, Chicago!  Bunch of pansies!"

In answering the question about what makes the two parks so similar, Angels outfielder Torii Hunter said, "I think it's really the old person smell.  You walk into the clubhouse, and you're like, 'Whoa!  Is there a nursing home around here?  This place reminds me of my grandma.'"

Oh, Sweet Lou

Lou Piniella, the captain of the sinking ship in Wrigleyville, was quoted by Paul Sullivan, a beat writer for the Chicago Tribune, as saying, "We've done everything I can humanly do to get this thing turned around.  That's all I can do."

As if it wasn't bad enough that the Cubs have acknowledged their underachieving ways this season, apparently Lou is giving up on the team.  Worse than the dreaded "vote of confidence," the manager admitting defeat is a sure sign that the Cubs are done.  Of course, once again, Lou is simply admitting what the rest of us already know - the Cubs are awful this year, and there's no joy in Wrigleyville for the mighty... well, moderately powerful...  all right, fairly mediocre... Cubs have struck out - again, and again, and again.

Reportedly management agrees, as shortly after this quote came out, they released an exclusive statement to BasesLoadedBalk:

We are certain that Lou is doing everything humanly possible with this team, but let's face it - it's just not working.  For that reason, we are beginning to search for a new, superhuman manager to take over next season.  Rumor has it that a planet far away recently exploded, but someone has escaped and is living in Metropolis.  If anyone knows of this intergalactic refuge and how to contact him, please send a note our way.

Linktastic Saturday!

I'm trying not to bog myself down with weekly feature (apart from Yogi Mondays!), but every once in a while, I'll put up some links to other baseball-humor related things.  It's mostly because I'm lazy...

Choose your weapon! - Very Demotivational

From The Onion:

The music at Wrigley.

Strasburg turns the tables.

Unexpected danger.

If you come across any more stories, let me know, and I'll include them on a future post!

Ubaldo Jimenez > The Orioles?

Saw a fun stat this morning.  Colorado Rockies pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez has more road wins this season (8) than the Baltimore Orioles (7).  I'll wait while you read that again....

Jimenez is 13-1 after 14 starts this season.  His one loss?  A 2-0 loss to the Dodgers in which he gave up one run in 7 innings.  Jimenez's ERA has skyrocketed to 1.15 after allowing 6 earned runs in three starts this month... almost as many as he allowed in April and May... COMBINED!

Oriole fans aren't too surprised at the dominance that Jimenez has displayed in comparison.  During on-street interviews that never really occurred, Ricky Madeupguy said, "U-bald-y is pitchin' really good this season.  I bet not even Miguel Tea-ha-dah could hit off of him."

In spite of the success, living in Colorado has proven to be mildly dangerous for Jimenez.  During a run through the mountains last week, an unruly mass of youth came out and jeered at him, "Go on up, Ubaldo!" they said, "Go on up, Ubaldo!"  Thankfully, Jimenez is a man of faith and called upon the Lord in his time of distress, and two bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youth.

MLB Draft - #25 Pick Edition

One thing that you'll probably discover over time is that I am a huge St. Louis Cardinal fan.  I fully realize that by saying this, some people will no longer read this blog, which is exactly why I'm saying it in an early post before anybody is actually reading the blog to begin with - you can't say I didn't tell you!

With the #25 pick, the St. Louis Cardinals drafted 3B Zack Cox, a sophomore out of the University of Arkansas.  At the time of the draft, the Razorbacks were playing Washington State for a birth in the Super Regional.  Shortly after being drafted, Cox continued a long-standing tradition for Cardinal third basemen.

Following in the shoes of Troy Glaus and Scott Rolen, Cox came out of the game because of a 'minor' injury.  When asked about possible injury concerns, Cardinal GM John Mozeliak said, "We are planning on Zack making his major league debut on the DL.  We really think we can get him through the minors in no time, so he can start his career of rehab and bench-warming right away."

Moyer Mows Down Yanks

On Wednesday, Jamie Moyer, at 47, became the oldest pitcher to defeat the New York Yankees.  In honor of this momentous occasions, I propose we start a comment thread.  With props to Mike & Mike in the Morning for a couple of these...

Jamie Moyer is so old...

• He cried at Lou Gehrig's farewell address while he was warming up in the bullpen.
• He was once interrupted while watching a play... when Lincoln as assassinated.
• He bought Shoeless Joe Jackson his first pair of shoes.
• He is the first player to win the Cy Old award.
• He is the only person to strike out all of the famous Yankee outfielders - Ruth, DiMaggio, Mantle & Bernie Williams.
• He calls Larry King, "Son" when addressing the talk show host.

All righty, you're turn...

Rally Monkey Causes Outbreak

Terrible news from Los Angeles today.  Apparently, the rally monkey, who became famous during the 2002 World Series championship for the Angels, has caused a major outbreak of the Motaba virus.  In July of 1967, the Motaba virus made its first appearance in the Motaba River Valley, devastating the region and killing within days.  The U.S. military was responsible for dropping a major bomb on the region to prevent further spread of the disease.  However, it appears as though the disease is back, and the Angel's beloved mascot is the cause.  Rumor has it that Dustin Hoffmann, Renee Russo and Morgan Freeman are on the scene and will save the day before the military decides to destroy another town.

Shortly before his organs liquefied, a spokesman from Disney reportedly said, "We aren't worried about this alleged outbreak.  The rally monkey has been a long-standing symbol of victory for Angel fans, and we refuse to believe that he could be the cause of such an awful disease.  He's just so cute!  Come here, buddy!  Come here!  OWWW!!!!  Why you little...."

Pirates Fashionably Late to Prospect Party

In a year when top prospects are making their debut all over the place, the Pittsburgh Pirates didn't want to be left out.  Feeling left behind with the call-ups of Strasburg in Washington, Castro in Chicago, Stanton in Florida, Heyward in Atlanta and Santana in Cleveland, the Pirates decided that they no longer wanted to be in the news as the team that Strasburg debuted against and blew away with 14 K's.

Consequently, they called up their top prospect Pedro Alvarez from Triple-A Indianapolis.  Alvarez is reportedly a power hitting 3B who was the 2008 #2 overall pick.  Before his promotion, Alvarez ranked 3rd in the International League in RBI's (53) and fourth in home runs (13).  Of course, none of that matters because those stats don't carry over.  Regardless, with his 0 HR's and 0 RBI's as a Pirate this season, Alvarez already ranks among the team leaders in those categories.

Pedroia & Flying

On Baseball Tonight last week, Boston Red Sox second baseman, and 2008 AL MVP, Dustin Pedroia admitted a fear of flying.  Apparently he is trying to get over that fear by remembering the wisdom Ivan Drago in Rocky IV, "If he dies, he dies."

When asked to comment on Pedroia's fear of flying, David Ortiz said, "I'm really glad he finally owned up to it.  Whenever the plane is about to take off, we have to remind Dusty to wear his Depends and stop screaming like a 4 year old girl."

In response to Ortiz, Pedroia quipped, "Who here has won an MVP award?  That's right, me.  Stick it, Papi."

Mark Mulder Retires

According to MLBTradeRumors.com, pitcher Mark Mulder has retired.  Of course, this isn't any surprise because Mulder admittedly hasn't touched a baseball since February and has been playing in amateur golf tournaments through Arizona, winning 6 of the 9 tournaments that he has entered.

It also isn't a surprise because Mulder has barely pitched since the end of 2005, a year after the Cardinals traded for him from the A's for DAN FREAKING HAREN and a couple other players who aren't that important right now.  Haren is currently one of the most sought after pitchers in the trading market, while Mulder retired with a 22-18 record as a Cardinal.  Guess who got the better end of that deal.

Spiderman's Dream Girl

Great video. I have my suspicions that this is fake, but even it is, it's a great video.

Morales Pulls a Gramatica

In the long-standing tradition of doing idiotic things and getting injured, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Really? They couldn't just stay as the California Angles, could they?) received news last week that they were going to be without power-hitting 1B Kendry Morales for the remainder of the season.  Most days, this would be awful news (especially for those of us who selected him for their fantasy team; the guy is a stud) and unfit for the scope of this particular blog; however...

Morales' injury ranks right up there with some of the strangest, most preventable of all injuries.  He pulled a Bill Gramatica.  In case you don't know what that means, Bill Gramatica was a place kicker for the Arizona Cardinals in 2001, when, in a game against the New York Giants, Gramatica tore his ACL celebrating... a field goal... in the first quarter.  Read that sentence again slowly.

Morales at least had reason to celebrate.  He had just hit a game-winning grand slam; however, in the aftermath of the celebration, Morales was left writhing in pain with a broken ankle.  Unfortunately, Morales had to be taken out back and prepared for his trip to the glue factory... oh wait, wrong sport.  The moral(es)... get it?... of the story is: don't celebrate in sports, kids.  Do what you are supposed to do, act like a professional, or God will break your ankle.

Yogi Monday!

We all get a case of the Mondays from time to time.  There's no better way to get through a Monday than with a classic quote from one of baseball's greatest quote machines - Yogi Berra.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Underachievers Strive to Overachieve... and Fall Short

Two of baseball's self-proclaimed underachievers met at Wrigley Field for ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball... on Sunday night (in case you didn't catch that part).  The underachievers set out to overachieve, and did exactly what you would expect an underachiever to do... they fell short.

White Sox pitcher Gavin Floyd took a no-hitter into the seventh inning before giving up a two-out double to Alfonso Sorry-ano Soriano.  And he was met out for out by Cubs pitcher Ted Lilly, who carried his no-no into the 9th inning before giving up a lead-off, pinch-hit single to Juan Pierre.  That's right, speaking of underachievers, guys hitting .274 and .245 busted up no-hitters tonight.

When asked how it felt to break up a no-hitter in the 9th, Juan Pierre answered, "Très bien. Je déteste ces oursons."  Don't we all, Pierre.  Don't we all...

Strasburg Sucks

In his second game as a major league pitcher for the Washington Nationals, highly touted phenom Stephen Strasburg sucked, but still managed to get the win.  Just a few days after 14 K's and no walks against the Pirates, Strasburg was forced to face slightly less pathetic competition in the Cleveland Indians... slightly less pathetic.  And the results were not as stellar.

Strasburg left with a 6-1 lead, but the bases were loaded, and he walked 5 of the last 12 batters he faced.  Strasburg also managed to give up a solo shot to Travis Hafner.  *Side news flash* Travis Hafner still plays major league baseball for the Indians. *End of side news flash*

Strasburg has officially been declared a "stopper" for his gutsy effort against the Indians to stop a 2 game losing streak.  Of course, let's not forget... THE NATIONALS SCORED 9 RUNS!!!!  Generally speaking, if you score 9 runs, you're going to win, regardless of who is on the mound.  Nevertheless, let's not let the facts get in the way of the truth.  Truth is, Strasburg is Gibson, Koufax, Walter Johnson and Christy Mathewson all rolled into one Cy Young winning machine.  We are at the beginning of history.  Strasburg will win 14 straight Cy Young awards in 12 seasons, strike out 439,250 helpless batters and have a lifetime ERA of 0.03.  At least that's what we should believe from all the press.

Pena Ties Team Mark

During yesterday's 14-9 loss to the Florida Marlins, Carlos Pena reminded us just how pathetic of a history the Tampa Bay Rays really have.  Pena homered in his fifth straight game tying the mark previously held by Jose Canseco.  When a post-A's Jose Conseco holds a team record, you know that you don't have a very good past.

When asked how he felt about his record being tied, Canseco was quick to point out that he and Pena have been buddies for a long time.  In fact, before games, they used to go into the shower stalls and shoot each other up with pharmaceutical enhancements.  When reminded that his career never overlapped with Pena's, Canseco reportedly said, "Yes, it did!  You just wait until my next book!"

Cubs, White Sox Finally Agree

The two Chicago teams finally agreed on something this week: they each suck.  According to an MLB.com story, the Cubs and White Sox both recognize the fact that they are underachieving this season with the Cubbies 9 games out and the White Sox 10.5 games out so far this season.  The article also points out that the Cubs' best pitcher, Carlos Silva, will be on the hill today for the team.  Read that sentence again, slowly, and you'll begin to understand why the Cubs have recognized that they are underachieving.

I would start making bold proclamations about the impending apocalypse due to the fact that both teams agree; however, I think they finally just came to terms with what the rest of the world already knows.  Managers Lou Piniella and Ozzie Guillen have decided that the battle for Chicago baseball supremacy will not be decided on the field, but, rather, a round robin arm wrestling tournament at Navy Pier.

Galarraga & Donald Linked Forever

MLB.com has a heart-warming story on it's page today talking about how Andres Armando Galarraga and Jason Donald are forever linked because of the blown call that ruined Galarraga's perfect game.  And by "heart-warming" I really mean "are we done talking about this debacle yet?"  Seriously, this article says, "They were all acts of a 20 hour passion play."

Thank you so much MLB.com for connecting the trial, crucifixion, death and resurrection of Jesus with a blown call on a near-perfect game.  I really don't think that is a link that has been made enough in our time.  After all, I'm certain that Galarraga felt like he was dying for the sins of all humanity when Donald was called safe.  I'm positive that Donald felt like Pilate washing his hands of the whole thing.  And we all know that Joyce is certainly Judas in this passion play, betraying all of us with a kiss of a safe sign.

The article then goes on to talk about other pairs of opponents who ruined perfect games.  On this list, you have immortal names such as: Roberto Kelly, Mike Mussina and Wallace Johnson.  Let's face it, what happened to Galarraga sucked.  It's part of the game.  All involved handled it with grace, and in the end, Galarraga might... might... be remembered as the guy who got the shaft on a perfect game.  In all reality, though, Galarraga and Donald are most likely going to be just like the other people on the list (Mussina possibly excluded)... linked by their fall into obscurity from this point on in their careers.  Congratulations on your temporary relevance.  Now, what have you done for me lately?

MLB Draft - #1 Pick Edition

Because the Washington Nationals knew they only had a week to be in the news, they made a big splash this week.  On the week when last year's #1 pick in the draft made his debut, the Nationals selected Bryce Harper from the College of Southern Nevada with this year's #1 pick.  That's right, the Nationals were the worst team in baseball for two years in a row.  In a league that includes the Royals, Pirates and Padres, that is pretty impressive.

Harper is currently a catcher but will make the shift to right field in order to "fast track" him to the Majors.  Because, as Adam Dunn has proven throughout his career, you don't have to be skilled to play in the outfield; you just have to hit the ball a long way.  Legends already abound regarding Harper's ability to hit the ball 6,263 feet, pick off runners with his laser-rocket arm, score from first on a bunt and how if HE were there, he would consume the English with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse.  Finally, as you can see from the picture below, Harper does cry because of his emotions, he cries tears of oil to help save the environment.

Bryce Harper after being asked to do his Hoff impersonation

Suppan! Who's Hungry?

Did you see what I did with that title?  Suppan... soup on... don't judge me.

Word came down yesterday that the St. Louis Cardinals were close to re-signing Jeff Suppan, recently released from the Milwaukee Brewers.  Rumor has it that the Cards were looking for someone to replace Kyle Lohse's +5.00 ERA, and Suppan was released at "just the right time" to pull the trigger on the deal.  Said Cardinal pitching coach Dave Duncan, "That guy again?"

Before being released, Suppan was in the final year of a four-year, $42 million contract with the Brewers, which, at the time, was the largest contract in club history.  That should tell you why the Brewers have not been in the World Series since 1982.

Why "Bases Loaded Balk"?

Perhaps you were wondering, "Why 'Bases Loaded Balk'?" Perhaps you were not. Regardless of the side of the fence you sit when it comes to this epic question, I'm going to let you know.

For those who don't know what a balk is in the first place, it is an illegal move on the part of a pitcher which results in the runners on base moving up a base. You can read more about it here; if you don't have anything better to do.

In short a balk with the bases loaded would advance all runners and score the runner from third. Teams have actually lost games because of a balk with a runner on third. It's really sad. It's the absolute worst way to lose a game. It's also hilarious... as long as it doesn't happen to your team.

The most recent example of a "balk-off" win comes from the Dodgers-Diamonbacks game on Memorial Day 2010. Casey Blake scored the winning run when Esmerling Vasquez (yes, that's really his last name), you guessed it, balked.

Dodgers Break Out the Brooms

The Los Angeles Dodgers completed a rare sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals.  It was the first time the Cardinals were swept in LA since 1988.  When asked about it, newly acquired Cardinal OF Randy Winn said, "It's not really that big of a deal.  After being with the Giants for so many years, I'm pretty used to getting swept by the Dodgers."

Mets Prefer to Work From Home

Following their 11 inning victory on Tuesday night, the Mets have an amazing home record of 23-9.  Unfortunately for the Mets, they have to play in other stadiums.  When on the road, they are an abysmal 8-18.

Team officials are currently exploring the possibility of playing all their games at Citi Field.  Commissioner Bud Selig on the possibility, "We are definitely looking into it.  At this point, I have to say that it has a better shot than instant replay."

When asked about the disparity, Mets 3B David Wright said, "We absolutely love New York City.  It is hands-down the finest city in all of America... nay, the WORLD!!!"  Wright then proceeded to run around the clubhouse shouting, "NYC! NYC!  NYC!"

Meanwhile, in other Mets news, Carlos Beltran is finally beginning to thaw after freezing on Adam Wainwright's curveball to end the 2006 NLCS.

Who's On First

Here's a classic in baseball humor. Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?"

Strasburg Debut

Stephen Strasburg is making his Major League debut tonight, nearly one year after the Nationals picked him #1 overall out of San Diego State. People haven't been this curious as to how a guy is going to pitch since Jim Abbott made his debut for the California Angels in 1989.

When asked about rushing the young prospect to the majors, Nationals GM Mike Rizzo said*, "Let's face it - we're the Nationals. We don't exactly have a window of opportunity here. In fact, all the windows in our offices have bars on them so employees aren't tempted to jump out. We figure that in a few years, this kid is going to jump ship and head to the Yankees, but not before bleeding us dry during his arbitration years. Our best bet at this point is to capitalize on his popularity before people actually see him pitch with the defense that we throw out there with him each night."

Pitching coach, Steve McCatty said*, "We have a plan in place for Strasburg, and have had it since day one. We're going to rush him to the majors, and wear out his arm before he has a chance to bail on us. We decided that pitting him against the Pirates would be his best shot since he can't pitch against us."

The Pittsburgh Pirates, widely regarded as a major league affiliate to good teams, were completely oblivious to the fact that they were going to be on national television for Strasburg's debut. When asked, a team spokesman said*, "What's that mean?"

*These may or may not have been the exact words used.

Welcome!

Welcome to Bases Loaded Balk!

I'm so glad you stopped by today. This is a project that I came up with off the top of my head to combine a couple things that I really enjoy: baseball and humor. I have skeleton plans in place for what is going to take place on this blog, and, hopefully, I'll be getting it off the ground and fully functioning in the near future!