Tulo's Incredible September

In case you haven't heard, Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, the glorious mullet-ed one, is having a monster September.  Since September 1st, Tulo has 15 HR and 40 RBI.  That's almost as crazy as his audition to become the next Budweiser spokesman.  "WAAAZZZUUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Masset Forget Where Home Was Located

If you didn't see it, you should check out Chris Nelson's steal of home from a recent Rockies-Reds game.  You can check it out here.  Go ahead.... I'll wait....

Done?  Good.

Okay, now if you'll notice, when Reds pitcher Nick Masset steps off the rubber, he doesn't look towards home. He looks at second base.  I guess you could argue that Masset didn't think somebody would be crazy enough to try to record his first career steal by swiping home in a 5-5 game, but then I would counter with the fact that you would be making a stupid argument.

Of course, for the Reds fans who watched their team blow a 5-0 lead in the first place, perhaps this was just the most demoralizing way that they could have lost the game.  Regardless, the Reds are still trying to let the Cardinals back into the division race, but the Cardinals do not seem to be interested at this time.

Rangers Sign Taveras

The Texas Rangers currently hold the biggest division league in all of baseball, and in a move to bring themselves closer to the pack and make the race in the AL West mildly interesting, they signed OF Willy Taveras to a minor league deal.  Apparently, this was to provide the Rangers with outfield depth for their Triple-A club because people actually care about that sort of thing.

It wasn't too long ago that Taveras led the NL in stolen bases with 68.  However, pitchers found a way to keep him off the basepaths - pitch to him.  Since leaving Colorado, Taveras has had minor league stints with the Phillies and Braves, and has hit a paltry .237 with the Reds and Nationals.

CarGo's Exclamation Point

Carlos Gonzalez, in one of those fantastic, ironic events that I don't have to make up, completed a cycle for the Rockies on Saturday against the Cubs with a walk-off home run.  It wasn't just any home run.  It was a massive home run... on the first pitch... one of the farthest in Coors Field history... and it went right to a Cubs fan.  Doesn't get any better than this.

If you haven't seen it, check out the video here.  I promise the link is safe.  I would normally embed the video, but MLB.com won't let me.

Cardinals to Open Gift Wrap Business in Denver

For the second night in a row, the Cardinals dropped a game to the Rockies in horrible, bullpen-collapse, walk-off fashion when Chris Ianetta hit a solo shot in the 9th inning on Wednesday night, giving the Rockies a 8-7 victory after the Cardinals entered the bottom of the 8th inning with a 7-4 lead.

Evan MacLane, who gave up Wednesday night's walk-off to the first batter he has ever faced in the major leagues, on his historic appearance: "I've always wanted to be on the same list as [San Diego pitcher] J.J. Trujillo, and now I feel like I've finally made it."

In related news, the St. Louis Cardinals have decided to open their own gift wrap business in the greater Denver area.  Closer Ryan Franklin, who gave up 6 runs in Tuesday's 12-9 defeat: "I've really been looking for an opportunity to put my new Santa goatee to work in some special ways for people in need.  I think I've finally found that opportunity here in Denver.  Any time you have an opportunity to give back, it's a good day."

The new gift wrap business is going to be available for Denver residents for just one more day before moving on to Houston.

Cardinals Unleash Historic Collapse

True story.  I woke up on Wednesday morning with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I had a dream/vision just before I awoke that the Cardinals had lost their game to Colorado 6-5 on a 3-run walk-off home run.  I couldn't get back to sleep, so I grabbed my phone (which sits on my nightstand), and checked the score.  Boy, was I relieved to see that I was wrong... sorta.  They lost 12-9 on a 3-run walk-off home run.... and allowed 9 runs in the 9th inning.

Do you want to tell me how a major league baseball teams can't get three outs before the opposing team scores 9 runs?  Colorado is not that good.  Their Final Vote representative is Carlos Gonzalez.  They have two All Stars, neither of which played in the game.

When asked about the collapse, pitcher Dennys Reyes, who pitched in the 9th for the Cardinals, giving up 3 runs, somehow managed to lose his ability to speak/understand English.

Ubaldo Jimenez > The Orioles?

Saw a fun stat this morning.  Colorado Rockies pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez has more road wins this season (8) than the Baltimore Orioles (7).  I'll wait while you read that again....

Jimenez is 13-1 after 14 starts this season.  His one loss?  A 2-0 loss to the Dodgers in which he gave up one run in 7 innings.  Jimenez's ERA has skyrocketed to 1.15 after allowing 6 earned runs in three starts this month... almost as many as he allowed in April and May... COMBINED!

Oriole fans aren't too surprised at the dominance that Jimenez has displayed in comparison.  During on-street interviews that never really occurred, Ricky Madeupguy said, "U-bald-y is pitchin' really good this season.  I bet not even Miguel Tea-ha-dah could hit off of him."

In spite of the success, living in Colorado has proven to be mildly dangerous for Jimenez.  During a run through the mountains last week, an unruly mass of youth came out and jeered at him, "Go on up, Ubaldo!" they said, "Go on up, Ubaldo!"  Thankfully, Jimenez is a man of faith and called upon the Lord in his time of distress, and two bears came out of the woods and mauled 42 of the youth.