Apparently some very confidential financial records for some MLB teams got leaked last week to Deadspin.com. Financial records for the Pirates, Angles, Rays, Mariners, Marlins and Rangers were released to the online sports site causing quite a stir in the sports world last week.
Quite frankly, there are too many documents to look through, and I just don't want to take the time, so I'm going to go with the broad generalization that baseball owners make a boatload of money (even the bad teams), and don't spend nearly enough on their teams. Oh, wait, that just confirms what everybody already knows.
Showing posts with label Angels. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Angels. Show all posts
Angel Stadium Not a Safe Place
In what is apparently Fans Getting Hurt Day here at Bases Loaded Balk, a kid was taking part in an on field, between innings challenge, when he pulled a Kendry Morales. He trips and breaks his arm; however, give the kid credit, he gets back up and completes his task anyway! Way to go, kid! Take one for the team!
Dodgers Find a Cool New Way to Lose
The Los Angeles Dodgers managed to lose a game literally seconds before the tying run scored. In the 9th inning of a 2-1 game against the most ridiculously named team, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Matt Kemp managed to get picked off of second by Brian Fuentes for the second out of the inning, but that is not where the fun starts.
Pinch hitter Jamey Carroll, already tagged with two girl names at his birth, was given another unfortunate life-strike. He managed to bloop a single into left field right in front of Juan Rivera, which would have brought the tying run in, but Dodgers catcher Russell Martin overran second base and was thrown out by Rivera before the run could score.
When asked about the close of the game, Russell Martin squarely put the blame on Reed Johnson. "He's always talking about how he's the fastest guy on the team, and how he once beat a giraffe in a foot race, and how he makes Juan Pierre look like a slug. Then he pulls this stuff? What a jerk!"
Johnson very quickly put the focus back where it should be - Martin's idiotic running. "I did beat a giraffe in a foot race! I can't believe nobody ever believes me when I tell them that! And Russell? I'm not surprised he overran second. Are you kidding me? Have you seen this guy try to throw out somebody trying to steal second? I'm surprised he knows where the base is in the first place!"
Pinch hitter Jamey Carroll, already tagged with two girl names at his birth, was given another unfortunate life-strike. He managed to bloop a single into left field right in front of Juan Rivera, which would have brought the tying run in, but Dodgers catcher Russell Martin overran second base and was thrown out by Rivera before the run could score.
When asked about the close of the game, Russell Martin squarely put the blame on Reed Johnson. "He's always talking about how he's the fastest guy on the team, and how he once beat a giraffe in a foot race, and how he makes Juan Pierre look like a slug. Then he pulls this stuff? What a jerk!"
Johnson very quickly put the focus back where it should be - Martin's idiotic running. "I did beat a giraffe in a foot race! I can't believe nobody ever believes me when I tell them that! And Russell? I'm not surprised he overran second. Are you kidding me? Have you seen this guy try to throw out somebody trying to steal second? I'm surprised he knows where the base is in the first place!"
Angels Compare Two Oldest Parks
The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim made their first trip to Wrigley Field this weekend. In an article on MLB.com, Angel players reportedly compared the Friendly Confines to another stadium that is really, really old - Fenway Park.
Angels pitcher Jered Weaver said that the fans are "a little more aggressive at Fenway than here" and continued to call out the city of Chicago as a bunch of sissies. "I mean, what has happened in Chicago? The Untouchables? C'mon, really? How about a real mob, like the Godfather... in a real city, like New York? Ever seen The Departed? Boston. Whatever, Chicago! Bunch of pansies!"
In answering the question about what makes the two parks so similar, Angels outfielder Torii Hunter said, "I think it's really the old person smell. You walk into the clubhouse, and you're like, 'Whoa! Is there a nursing home around here? This place reminds me of my grandma.'"
Angels pitcher Jered Weaver said that the fans are "a little more aggressive at Fenway than here" and continued to call out the city of Chicago as a bunch of sissies. "I mean, what has happened in Chicago? The Untouchables? C'mon, really? How about a real mob, like the Godfather... in a real city, like New York? Ever seen The Departed? Boston. Whatever, Chicago! Bunch of pansies!"
In answering the question about what makes the two parks so similar, Angels outfielder Torii Hunter said, "I think it's really the old person smell. You walk into the clubhouse, and you're like, 'Whoa! Is there a nursing home around here? This place reminds me of my grandma.'"
Rally Monkey Causes Outbreak
Terrible news from Los Angeles today. Apparently, the rally monkey, who became famous during the 2002 World Series championship for the Angels, has caused a major outbreak of the Motaba virus. In July of 1967, the Motaba virus made its first appearance in the Motaba River Valley, devastating the region and killing within days. The U.S. military was responsible for dropping a major bomb on the region to prevent further spread of the disease. However, it appears as though the disease is back, and the Angel's beloved mascot is the cause. Rumor has it that Dustin Hoffmann, Renee Russo and Morgan Freeman are on the scene and will save the day before the military decides to destroy another town.
Shortly before his organs liquefied, a spokesman from Disney reportedly said, "We aren't worried about this alleged outbreak. The rally monkey has been a long-standing symbol of victory for Angel fans, and we refuse to believe that he could be the cause of such an awful disease. He's just so cute! Come here, buddy! Come here! OWWW!!!! Why you little...."
Shortly before his organs liquefied, a spokesman from Disney reportedly said, "We aren't worried about this alleged outbreak. The rally monkey has been a long-standing symbol of victory for Angel fans, and we refuse to believe that he could be the cause of such an awful disease. He's just so cute! Come here, buddy! Come here! OWWW!!!! Why you little...."
Morales Pulls a Gramatica
In the long-standing tradition of doing idiotic things and getting injured, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (Really? They couldn't just stay as the California Angles, could they?) received news last week that they were going to be without power-hitting 1B Kendry Morales for the remainder of the season. Most days, this would be awful news (especially for those of us who selected him for their fantasy team; the guy is a stud) and unfit for the scope of this particular blog; however...
Morales' injury ranks right up there with some of the strangest, most preventable of all injuries. He pulled a Bill Gramatica. In case you don't know what that means, Bill Gramatica was a place kicker for the Arizona Cardinals in 2001, when, in a game against the New York Giants, Gramatica tore his ACL celebrating... a field goal... in the first quarter. Read that sentence again slowly.
Morales at least had reason to celebrate. He had just hit a game-winning grand slam; however, in the aftermath of the celebration, Morales was left writhing in pain with a broken ankle. Unfortunately, Morales had to be taken out back and prepared for his trip to the glue factory... oh wait, wrong sport. The moral(es)... get it?... of the story is: don't celebrate in sports, kids. Do what you are supposed to do, act like a professional, or God will break your ankle.
Morales' injury ranks right up there with some of the strangest, most preventable of all injuries. He pulled a Bill Gramatica. In case you don't know what that means, Bill Gramatica was a place kicker for the Arizona Cardinals in 2001, when, in a game against the New York Giants, Gramatica tore his ACL celebrating... a field goal... in the first quarter. Read that sentence again slowly.
Morales at least had reason to celebrate. He had just hit a game-winning grand slam; however, in the aftermath of the celebration, Morales was left writhing in pain with a broken ankle. Unfortunately, Morales had to be taken out back and prepared for his trip to the glue factory... oh wait, wrong sport. The moral(es)... get it?... of the story is: don't celebrate in sports, kids. Do what you are supposed to do, act like a professional, or God will break your ankle.
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